Washed Clean

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand” Psalm 40:2, NIV.

My family did not teach me much about right and wrong. I heard little about religion growing up. My family was Buddhist, but we were not very strong in our beliefs. I remember wanting to be good and asking my parents about how I should live. My mother told me that I’d learn all that at school and not to bother her with my questions.

After going to school I quickly learned that my friends and teachers were not interested in teaching me about values or morals. I was not going to learn how to live a good life from them. I felt so lost. I tried to do right, but everything seemed to go wrong. My friends were bullies who often took advantage of me. Two boys were especially cruel. One morning, as a joke, they pushed me into a pit filled with garbage and stagnant water. Fortunately I was not physically hurt, but I felt so dirty, violated and embarrassed. All the other students laughed at me. I quit school shortly after that incident and vowed that I’d never go back. That event scarred my soul. I was never the same afterwards.

Home was no refuge for me. My mother was angry at me for quitting school. She made my life miserable until I agreed to go back. Sleep was no refuge. I’d often dream of the pit – the smells, the slime and the shame. Their laughter echoed in my mind. When I went back to school the other students were still laughing at me and talking behind my back. I withdrew and refused to talk to anyone. Hatred gripped my heart.

I knew the hatred was wrong, but I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t know how to let it go. So I decided that fighting back was the way to handle my pain. The next day I stood up to the bullies. In response the boys picked up stones and threw them at me and hit me. I didn’t back down. I picked up stones and hurled them back; striking one of them in the head and causing him to bleed. I laughed at them. It felt good. From that day on people left me alone. They feared me. I felt powerful. Those bullies deserved what they got.

I started using anger to handle my problems. I’d yell and throw things to get my way. I even yelled at my parents. I knew this wasn’t the way to live, but when I tried to be good such bad things happened to me. I used my “pit” experience as an excuse for my behavior. People avoided me; I felt so alone and angry.

An aunt from Chiang Mai came to visit. I was not interested in her. I was angry at the world. Yet she took an interest in me. When I looked at her life I saw a happiness and peace that I longed for, but I didn’t let on that she intrigued me. She challenged me. She said, “Sa, you need to know the LORD. He loves you.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Nobody loves me. I said, “Does your God love me?” I didn’t believe it. I reasoned with myself that Christianity was my aunt’s choice, but it had nothing to do with me. Just before she left, my aunt gave me a hug. No one had ever hugged me before. I was 16 years old at the time.

A year later, my aunt invited me to come spend the summer with her in Chiang Mai. My aunt and uncle had become Christians through the ministry of a New Tribes missionary. My aunt taught me stories from the Bible using Chronological Storying. She told me how God’s word could show me how to live a good life. At first, I pretended that I wasn’t interested, but I was intensely interested. I had wanted to hear this all my life.

The Bible showed me my sin, and my heart already condemned me. Finally I asked, “What must I do to be saved from my sin?” My aunt told me about Jesus dying for my sins. I didn’t pray with my aunt at that time, but I wanted to accept Christ. I was so tired of living with the stain of my sins.

That night I prayed to God. I admitted my many sins and asked God to help me. As I prayed I saw a picture of me falling into the dirty pit again. This time I understood how stained with sin I was, and that Jesus could make me clean. At that moment I understood that Jesus took away my sins and I was washed clean!

The next morning I told my aunt about my prayer and God’s vision to me. I said, “I know that Jesus has come and washed all my sins clean.” My aunt hugged me, and we both cried for joy. Everyone in the house was happy for me, and that night a missionary brought me my own Bible. I remember thinking what a precious gift it was to have my very own Bible.

For the rest of that summer my aunt taught me from the Bible every day. I had come to Chiang Mai with a heart full of hate, and by the end of the summer I had the same happiness and peace that had intrigued me when I first met my aunt. I returned home but didn’t go to church because I didn’t know where to go. But I continued to study my Bible, and God taught me new things every day.

My parent’s were dumbfounded by the changes they saw in my life. When I told them about Jesus, they did not object to my becoming a Christian. They were so grateful that my life had turned around from the temper tantrums and hate to peace and happiness.

Shortly after coming to know Christ I learned that the two bullies who pushed me into the pit had died in a gun fight. I realized that I was on that same path, but praise God, He saved me.

Since I decided to follow Jesus, God took away my hatred for other people. I began to see that they too need to know Jesus. I began to look for ways to introduce people to the One who had pulled me from the slimy, miry pit and washed me clean.

Pray that:

God will bless Sa’s life, ministry and witness that many Northern Thai and Isaan people will come to know the same happiness and peace that she found in the LORD.

Sa’s parents and siblings will come to faith in Jesus.

God will pull many people from the pit of anger, hatred and bitterness and set them on the solid rock of Jesus Christ in Northern Thailand.

Pacific Rim is a region of the International Mission Board, SBC.